Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Its that time of the month

A man is when a boy becomes mature but still knows how to have fun, faces the inevitable responsibilities of life with a mature outlook and accepts the consequences of his actions. He has respect for the opposite sex and aspires to be a positive role model for younger ones that look up to him. To me, this is when a boy becomes a man.
I just took that off my Sister's blog and It got me thinking am I a Man or a Boy. To be fair I've been thinking about this for awhile and have been planning to blog about it too. There has been some hesitation in writing this blog as I rarely enjoy talking about these things.
As we are all aware we are in February now. Second month of the new year. Christmas is the thing of the past and New year's resolutions are all but forgotten. With this month comes the smell of Valentines day.The 14th of February. Yep its that time of the month. Ann summers and Victoria secrets profits explode, Cards, balloons and teddy bears galore, Flowers and wine bottles are in abundance and a noticeable increase in child births in October (you do the maths). Me personally I thought this day was a gassed up day that had been overly commercialized and a total waste of money. This does not mean I didn't fall for the hype a couple of times. Yes I will admit I have brought  roses and a bottle of wine for that supposedly special girl, did the meals, Clinton card, lit the candles and pumped out the slow jams. Looking back just provides me with more cringe moments. Ergh just thinking about it now...ahhhh o well we live and we learn. So I did get sucked into the hype but I would say I always knew it was pure fakeness.I mean how many people actually know the story behind valentines day?.
I remember being on my uni radio a few years back playing those baby-making 'slow jams'. I has one girl ask me live on radio what I would be doing that day for Valentines. I believe I said 'To me every day is valentines day today is just a normal day' (Cringe) she then asked if I had a valentines date and I responded 'every girl is special to me...' There was more but I can't even type the rest cause it got really pathetic. What is worrying is that, that type of talk really worked on girls. I'm not proud of it but I was a sweet boy. My boys used to slaughter me for it. If sweet talking was a crime, I would be the worst offender. The most wanted. Caught and sentence to jail for three life times. Thinking about it now, It was a very stupid thing to do. Telling a girl everything she wants to hear, playing with her emotions and just flat out misleading them was insanely stupid. The saying hell has no fury like a woman's scorned is the understatement of the century. The backlash I got ...Lets just say I paid the price for my shenanigans and then some. Destroy a girls heart and I grantee you will end up worse off. Play with fire and you will get burnt. FACT!
Why did I do it?. It was easy for me. OK I do have an introvert personality and tend to be quiet in most surroundings but when it came to girls it was different. Some how girls to me where so easy to talk to. Once I saw a girl look twice, I would go in. Talking to girls I deemed attractive was never a problem for me. I played the shy boy, the bad boy, the good boy, the virgin boy but never the honest one. I thought I was smart as well, I never went about promoting my "conquests" like the other boys I used to hang around with did. Sure there was the boys locker room talk I would get into but I never told them the girls I got actually got with. I noticed early on that boys spread information just as well as girls. So I was overly private about my doings and I never really had a bad reputation or looked at as one of the local players.I was far from innocent. A while back me and my brother were jokingly slewing each other about girls and he was just saying names after names of girls he associated with me. Some where true and some weren't but it got me thinking how many? How many girls had I had? The horrifying truth is that I don't know. I stopped counting after a while. When your getting three different girls coming to your house during the day...its just wrong and there was problem. The alarm bells started  ringing when I got to the point where I was just tired of sex and competitions on who could bed the most girls in the year. I shameful admit I did all those things. Please believe this posting is not about me boasting or bragging about the stuff I did if anything its the total opposite. It is an admittance and a confession. I messed up but that was when I was a boy. Now that I'm a man. Everything wrote at the beginning of the post is the type of man I want to be.Only God can help me. So today I take this Vow

I, (Gabriel), take you (Celibacy), to be my (way of life), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until my wife makes  us part

Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
the old me was a boy the new me is a man. 
I bet you didnt think you would be reading this today. LOL 
Over and out!

Sunday, 6 February 2011

Maybe Just Maybe...

"Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. Maybe it is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we do not know what we have been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you... back. Do not expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Do not go for looks; they can deceive. Do not go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts them too. The happiest of people do not necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you cannot go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and the heartaches. So make love to the present and forget the past

Taken from my american sister Shanta key

Sunday, 30 January 2011

I refuse

I refuse to be another black statistic
A black man who can wine and dine in the sin of the world and still be considered a Christian 
I plan on being great
I care not to be less
I refuse to wear a barcode across my chest 
I refuse to let a black tee or throwback jersey define me
I refuse to let my children witness divorce 
Or make mature decisions in court
I refuse to grow up carrying the generational curse
I refuse to feel the need to curse in my verse
I hate being automatically looked at when someone asks can anyone rap
I wanna be a black man that can flip it from urban to corporate measures 
A black man who doesn't gain knowledge from the world for his own pleasures
A black man who reps Christ to the fullest with no regrets
My only regret is the stigma that many black statistics in the past have set
Like going to jail, bragging about bail, leaving our kids, cussing at church,
married and you still flirt, no father present at birth
Animosity within the ministers of our church
I refuse to let my people be viewed as temporary
I plan on planting a seed not for the moment but for one thats legendary
As for statistics
My father broke the mode
And I feel its my job for the next generation to continue in it
Because I refuse to be another black statistic

Sunday, 23 January 2011

This is one (B)oy (L)eaning (O)n (G)od

and I will begin...

writing a blog is a skill and a discipline. I've been reading a couple blogs and all I can say is wowzer!. I really am a boy in this game. One could say their blog is like the broadsheet Evening standard and mine is the any silly tabloid sun paper. A blog is really something special where you can type and share a lot more than you would usually say face to face. There isn't even a set way of writing a blog. Granted a lot of blogs are similar and people take and copy ideas of what another blogger wrote (hhhmmm  Ms D) but every blog is unique and personalised. Its ok to read someone else blog and rewrite it putting your own spin on things. I like it. Some do it for work and some do it for play. Mine is most certainly for play. Its amazing the you can get to know a little bit more about someone through their blog and find out things you would have otherwise not likely have found out. Take for example my brother from another mother Master P.N from his blog I found out he went abroad. This goon has one peculiar out look on life. Actually Imma call him Peculiar P. PP went away and didn't tell any one. Why one would ask? because his one exclusive guy lol  his reason and I quote was 'I kept intelligence of my trip on hush status...' because '...it makes my endeavours appear twice as important and intriguing than they really are. Conceited I know - don't judge me.'
What a peculiar guy...
Another blog I just started reading belongs to one nice lady by whom we will call Ms D. I have already referred to her earlier in this blog. Ms D does know how to write a blog. I believe she writes something every day. some times a small paragraph. Nothing major just a few words. (Note to self my blogs can be stupidly long some times) Those few words are enough and say so much. I reckon my whole view of her was completely wrong. The 'hard' girls I wrongly assumed she was, was not the case at all. Okay she can hold her own but there is a much much much softer side to her. God bless her

I'm going to continue blogging cause its good and it helps me express myself. ((lame)) Anyway I'm liking what I did with the title. sick Ilie. On a serious tip doe I will be leaning on God more and making sure he directs my life and just watch a see what happens.

Now for the crap bit of proof reading what I just wrote.......ORRRRRRRRR simply click 'publish post' button

Imma let you guess what choice I took lol

Stay blessed Peeps

Friday, 14 January 2011

New year, new moi (interview with the new year)

GA: Hello new year. Hows it going?

2011: Great actually just started and now getting into the swing of things

GA: Cool, two weeks in, is it everything you expected?

2011: well... it really is too early to tell. Your going to have to ask me that again in a couple of months time

GA: OK, so can I ask what you have in store for Gabriel this year?

2011: now that would be telling, lol your just going to have to wait and see

GA: ahhh go one give us a little hint

2011: nah Gabriel your gonna have to wait and see. It would be boring if you knew everything that was going to happen in the year now.

GA: fair point

2011What I will say is if you put in a lot of work, You'll gain a lot

GA: OK that will be all for now, thanks for your time

2011: No thank you Gabriel hopefully we can do this again some time during the year or at least before my younger brother 2012 come along

GA: Oh we will, bless

Monday, 20 December 2010

Get right or get left

For the time being, I'm gonna try write a few of my thoughts in the morning.

Anyway here goes...
I did a bit of reading this morning. You know when you wake up super early and cant get back to sleep. (poor lyrics) its the worst feeling every because you know by midday you'll  feel  super tired and shit. Oh well i'll deal with that later. So with this early reading I took the time to look at other blogs and to come up with some new years resolutions that I will probably not follow. Two things I've learned this morning. Blogging is actually a skill, there are good blogs and really really crap ones (poor lyrics) lol. The other thing is new years resolutions are pathetic promises one gives it self without any belief that one will follow or keep it to the end of the year. Most people can't even remember what their one was at the beginning of this year. To break this trend my new years resolution is to not have any. That way, I won't break it before the end of January.
I need to stop Promising myself the same thing, year after year. "Get right or Get left." I've decided that 2011 will be the year where I stop desiring and start getting.Of course, there might be a few hiccups along the way and realistically the year won't be perfect but I will get right rather then get left behind...

Off to work now. Got to make like a tree and leave (poor :S lol) I'm actually liking this blogging thing. I should have done this along time.

Adios friends x 

Sunday, 19 December 2010


Sooooo hello world.
I've finally got round to doing this, after only God knows how long. My first Blog. This is something I've started and plan to continue. I actually need this. I need a media to pour out my heart...REALLY?!?!? no but seriously the reasons for this blog came to me on the train back to London from Manchester. After a very eventful weekend which I will tell you more about in a later blog. The main reason for this blog is for me to go back in 5 or 10 years times and just be like wow. This blog is more for me than you. I'm just inviting you along for the ride. Another thing is, this blog  will be for year 2011. I will note down everything that goes on in my head or at least try to. I will be 100% honest.
Before I continue I must warn those smart intellect people that may happen to come across my blog. You will most likely find some horrendous spelling and grammatical errors in this blog. English was never my strong point. I'm more of a maths boy. I will try and proof read what I write before I post so, bare with bare with.

So First thing first. I will provided you with a definition of an introvert. I was going to write it in my own words till I found this online

Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.
Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."
When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.
Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations.

Yes this is cheating but I don't think I could have put it better. I will Harvard reference this if it makes anyone feel better. Anyway this sums me up a lot. Those who know me will probably agree. Then again please don't get it twisted though, I can be the loudest person in the room and the center of attention but thats is only with people I've known for a very very long time. Generally I tend to stay in the background and study my surroundings. I'm one of those people that pick up and notice the smallest of things...

I will leave it there for now. (misfits is going to start soon and I must watch it) Hopefully I will write more tomorrow and it will be more structured  blog.

Good night friends, foes and the unknown. x